Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
