apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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