apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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