so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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