this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
What drink are we having for lunch?
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
