Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Randomize
