kristin has been a bad kristin
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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