The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
