hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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