it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
