She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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