This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
