So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
