okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
