did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
