we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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