yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
