As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
