so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Randomize
