Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
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