Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
