you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
