dude i'm inner monologue high
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
