just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
