Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
