dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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