My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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