Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
