My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
