It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Everything about him screamed your future.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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