Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
there was a trapeze. enough said
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
