I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Randomize
