Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
