Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Randomize
