At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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