she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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