Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
