Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
