Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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