Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
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