Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
