you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
