But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
You may now shotgun with the bride
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
