yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
