I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
