I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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