i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
