She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
