conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
