I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
