Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
