dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
