I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
